We are nearing the end of our time together as congregation and pastor. Now comes the time when I need to more fully share the ethical departure guidelines that ordained ministers in the United Church of Christ adhere to as we leave congregations. These may seem harsh, but the truth is that some pastors never really leave the congregations they have served. This does a disservice to the congregation and to the pastors who come to serve after them.

On June 21 we will say the Liturgy of Farewell together. We will promise:

Association Representative (Pastor Jack): Do you, the members and friends of Colchester Federated Church, release the Rev. Lauren Ostrout from the duties of Pastor of Colchester Federated Church?
Congregation:  We do, with the help of God.
Association Representative (Pastor Jack): Do you offer her your encouragement as her life and ministry unfold in new ways?
Congregation: We do, with the help of God.

Association Representative (Pastor Jack): Do you, Rev. Lauren Ostrout, release Colchester Federated Church from turning to you and depending on you?
Pastor Lauren: I do, with the help of God.

So here’s important information to share as I depart (taken from the UCC’s A Sure Foundation: Resources for the Relationship between Pastors and Congregations). I will no longer be available to you for baptisms, weddings, funerals, church activities, pastoral care, etc. in the future. Because I cannot in good faith allow church members to turn to me and depend on me for spiritual care. That will fall to the pastors who will serve Colchester Federated Church after me.

In this technological age, I will also be changing privacy settings on Facebook so that members of CFC will be on a “restricted” list for at least a year.  I have already removed myself from Colchester Facebook groups and resigned from boards I have served on during my ministry here. My mother-in-law remains in town, but you won’t see Neill and I much (if at all) as we will meet up with her halfway between Orange and Colchester. During the Liturgy of Farewell we will promise to release one another in order to give each other space to truly say goodbye. This time calls for one year of radio silence. The exception I have always made with these guidelines is with church staff and their families who are colleagues and friends by now.

If some of this sounds extreme, please know that there are sound reasons why the United Church of Christ asks pastors to depart congregations ethically. Many congregations (CFC included) tend to have a nostalgic streak. Folks fall back on people you know and what is familiar as opposed to embracing the new—new directions, new opportunities, new visions, new pastors.

The helpful metaphor I have used in my ministry is that I am like Mary Poppins. Seriously! Mary Poppins (with Julie Andrews’ angelic voice and Dick Van Dyke’s terrific dancing—and the worst English accent in the history of film maybe?!) is a cinematic masterpiece as far as I am concerned.  I am like Mary Poppins in that I am practically perfect in every way, right Neill?  But really, I am with a church family fully when I am with you.  Though I cannot be with you forever. You all will go off to fly a kite together with a bright future ahead.  Meanwhile I will pack my bag and unfurl my umbrella and go off to serve my new church family.  Those winds (of the Spirit) are moving me onto the next adventure in Orange.

Ministers come and go, that is the nature of our profession.
The congregation remains to keep being the church in this particular community. 
I will think of you fondly. I will pray for you.
I will commend you to God and send love and light from afar.
But I will no longer be with you because I am needed elsewhere. 
And remember if any of this seems hard—God is with us all.

Love,
Pastor Lauren

Photo by Vincent Péré on Unsplash

Thursday Thoughts 6/4/26